You Actually Work?

Yes. We do!



And to prove it, here is a compilation of our favorite teaching moments from the first part of this semester:

Everyday we come to class prepared with an activity to complete with our students. While we do whatever we planned, we practice the English necessary to talk about whatever we are doing. One day, I decided to make flowers with my Kindergarten class. I made a prototype out of a pipe cleaner, sandwich baggie, rubber band, and cotton ball that I thought looked pretty good. I was humbled, however, when I pulled it out of my bag and began the following conversation:

"Hey everybody! What did I bring today?"
Dead silence.
"C'mon, what does it look like to you?"
Confused stares.
"...a snake?"

Translation: "Teacher Brian, the slapstick's your bread and butter. Keep pretending to eat grass and pour glue on your head. Crafts just aren't your thing."

In case you are wondering, we made snakes that day.


During the course of a normal class, we ask the students to repeat what we say at least fifty times. We model the right way to say things and then they follow the pattern we set as best they can. For that reason, we try to say things that they would need to say based on the situation. For example, if your student drops their pencil, you might say "I dropped my pencil!" and have them repeat that same phrase back to you. It is incredibly effective but has sometimes gotten me into trouble.
I don't remember exactly what we were doing on this particular day, but it involved black markers. My student Julian needed to draw something and tried several markers without any success. They were all dried-out, old, or completely broken.
Finally, he gives me a look of total exasperation and I decide to model the language he needs at that moment. Without realizing it, I say "There are no working blacks!" and the entire class repeats it back to me.
Yeah. Just let that one sink in for a moment...



When I'm not teaching Kindergartners, I teach Sixth graders. Sounds terrible but it really isn't! Anyways, every week I am supposed to prepare one math lesson, one science lesson, and one social studies lesson. Whether or not they actually learn math, science, or social studies is completely irrelevant (the class we always dreamed of as children...) because we just want them to learn the English necessary to talk about it.
One day, I decided to prepare a social studies lesson on different parts of the world and the famous attractions and sites there. I showed them pictures of different tourism posters and then they made their own for whatever place they wanted. Raul chose Canada (which is wildly popular here for some reason), Ale chose Mexico City, and Nydia chose my English class.
I was flattered that she chose my class and was excited to see what she would put on her poster. My anticipation continued to grow as I watched her grab all sorts of markers and glitter pens. It was a bit like A Christmas Story when Ralphie daydreams about getting an A+++++ on his Red-Rider BB Gun theme.
Finally, I was brought back down to Earth when she proudly displayed her poster that read:

"Teacher Brian. Great. The best class of English!"

In her defense, I am great and I do have the best class of English.



Finally, I would like to share the events of one day that I have affectionately termed "The Perfect Storm".

In my Kindergarten class, there is one student that God put there as payback for everything I put my parents through as a child. As some of you may know, I suffered from some pretty intense separation anxiety until I was about ten or eleven years old. The student in my class, however, makes the tear-soaked panic episodes of my past look like the work of a mere amateur. Without further ado, I present "The Perfect Storm":

I arrive at the school to find that everything is surprisingly calm. Too calm. We manage to get all of the kids into our room and we start our normal routine: today's date, girls camp songs, today's weather, girls camp songs, classroom rules, girls camp songs, girls camp songs, and more girls camp songs ( Have I mentioned that we sing a lot of girls camp songs?).
About midway through "The Princess Pat", Michelle pulls on my shirt and points to her arm. Apparently it was hurting (I sometimes wonder if there isn't a children's fight club being run in Tehuacan because she shows up everyday with some sort of new wound or ailment that makes it impossible for her to participate in class). Apparently I didn't show enough sympathy because she started to weep and fell over onto a table.
After a few minutes of this, I persuaded her to stand behind her desk and look at the other teacher. Unfortunately, in turning to stand up she caught a glimpse of her Dad picking up her little brother at the classroom next door. (I still do not understand why he decides to have long in-depth conversations in front of our sliding glass doors everyday but I have resigned myself to letting his daughter cry until he decides it's time to make her stop himself or take her home with him.)
Anyways, after about ten solid minutes of what the Book of Mormon would describe as "weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth", Michelle decided that she could manage to sit in a chair and participate in class again. While sitting down, however, she noticed that her shoe was untied.
No big deal, right?
False!
While tying her shoe, she caught a glimpse of the microscopically invisible wound on her arm again and started to cry some more.
Maybe it was all of the water running down her face, but, after another solid weeping session, she decided that she had to go to the bathroom at that moment or the world would end. Normally we don't let them go during class but sometimes you've gotta pick your battles.
I went with her to the bathroom and waited outside. While she was washing her hands, I turned around to get something and she immediately vanished. (Sweet! Problem solved, right?)
Lucky for me, the school is not that big and I was able to find her after only a few minutes. She was behind the lunchroom playing with her dog?!?!?!?!?
Really? Her dog? Can I just go ahead and award them the "Parents of the Year" award right now?
You can imagine the tears that were shed and the tantrums that were thrown as I persuaded her to leave her dog and join us again for class. Surprisingly, all went well for about ten minutes or so until the grand finale occurred.
Michelle jumped out of her chair, ran to the glass doors, and started to scream and cry. Searching for the source, I looked out the window and beheld something incredible: her Mom (Does anyone in this family work?) was standing right in front of our classroom talking with the principal. What were they talking about? I have no idea. I couldn't hear them over the sound of the dog barking in her Mom's hands!
This was one of those moments when I truly just gave up. After about five minutes, her Mom noticed the crying and came over to our room. She gave me a look of "Why aren't you taking care of this?" and waited for an explanation.
I probably should have handled the situation better, but I didn't. I just looked at her Mom, said "Why is her dog here?!?!?" in English, and went and sat down.
I had fought the good fight but it was over. To this day, nothing has rivaled that day (not even the day when the school threw a party during our class and set the Dance Dance Revolution arcade game right outside our door!) and I hope nothing ever does.

Zacatlan de las Fotos

Travel Diary: Zacatlan de las Manzanas (Zacatlan of the Apples)

"Hey Brian, you might wanna fix your hair or something. After all, you did just spend 5 hours on a bus." Oh wait... this is just an imaginary comment that nobody made to me. Now I (Brian) get to remember this rocking look for the rest of my life... Okay, so the reason I (Kelly) took this photo is because of the adorable old man in the back ground. Isn't he so cute and Mexican in his vest and hat on those bright blue steps? Love it!




Strange resemblance? It's honestly very appropriate, though, considering we were in Duloc for the weekend.



I love everything about this picture! First and foremost, this cute little Mexican man looks like he should be in a National Geographic. Second, you could literally find anything your heart desired in this market. Better than Walmart?... I must concur.



When we saw this random street sign exploding with chemistry we just couldn't resist. Chemistry is Brian's one true love. He will tell you that it's me but we both know that if chemistry were marry-able then I would be toast ;)



In case you don't know, Brian is deathly afraid of heights. This picture illustrates his feelings about going on the zip-line that the rest of us were ecstatic about.



If you look closely you can see the yellow zip line rope on the left and wire bridge on the right. We were able to zip line over the waterfall to one end and crawl over the bridge back to the other end. It was a blast! Brian was a great photographer/cheerleader :)



I have to let Brian comment here because this picture makes him want to fall over with laughter...
What I (Brian) love about this picture is how straight she is sitting. I like to title this shot "The Obedient Zip-Liner". Seriously, though, they should hire her for zip-line training videos.



Me on the giant metal rope bridge. Extremely cool and, surprisingly, not scary.



I know you're not going to believe it, but this picture only took one try! It is a known fact that I have amazing self portrait camera-aiming skills. From the time that I was in middle school I was always one of the tallest girls in my group of friends. With great height comes great responsibility! Great height = great arm length= great camera aiming responsibility..... you catch my drift?



In true Mexican fashion we are here waiting. The "combi" (stripped down van with benches in it) man told us he would pick us up here at 5:30 and, alas, we waited. In true American fashion we decided we were done waiting after about 15 or 20 minutes. In true Mormon fashion we offered a prayer and began to walk up the dirt road. I now present to you the answer to our prayers in more than one way.......



That's right my friends! No more than two minutes up the road, this awesome man in a red truck asked us if we would like a ride to the highway. Of course we accepted. The best part was that when he opened up the back of his truck we found it plum full of soda! It was literally full my friends. This was, however, no problem for Mr. Soda Man. He assured us that we could step on the soda bottles and sit on the edge of the white gate.
I must say we were a grateful bunch! Not only was the dirt road to the highway much farther then we had previously remembered, but this moment also made us feel more Mexican than ever before! We were giddy with delight. The man probably thought we were crazy for having so much fun back there but he didn't seem to mind.
Now you are probably thinking "Wow your prayers were definitely answered!" and to that I would have to agree. BUT my story is not over yet my friends. Our lovely Mexican friend then proceeded to wait by the highway with us until the right combi came by that would take us a block away from our hotel! Mexicans are so nice! Brian and I are constantly reminding each other that we need to be more like them!



Our mattress of bottles.



Kira, Emily, and Brian having the Mexican time of their life!



Here we have Hannah, Paige, and myself getting high on life. If any of you are wondering about the safety of this excursion I will respond to you: Very, very safe :)



After we got into town we checked into our Hotel. It was known as the Colonial Hotel or Hotel Garage... I am still trying to decide which name was more fitting... Either way we had a grand time taking pictures on the roof:


This one has to be my personal favorite. What do you expect to be on a hotel rooftop? Hmmmm... laundry (of course), basket (surely), pipes (duh), giant piggy banks.....what? All I can say is that it could have been worse ;)


We then proceeded to check out our lovely little city. It had the normal kinds of things in it:


Church.


Gazebo.


Beautiful day-time scenery.


Beautiful night-time scenery.


Colorful doors (remember, this is Mexico).


Colorful everything (remember what I said about this being Mexico?).


Giant clock made of flowers (Wait are we still in Mexico?). Remember the last time you were imagining how cool it would be to stand beside a giant clock made of flowers? This one's for you!

All in all, it was an amazing trip! Everything was so perfect that it was almost creepy. We did, however, manage to find the proverbial cherry to top our trip with: a private Mariachi concert!

"See! I told you that if we practiced hard enough a group of young American girls would show up to hear us play! I called it!"

Mexican Food: Fact or Fiction

Have you ever been halfway through your Cheesy Gordita Crunch and wondered if you were eating the real deal? Have you ever thought "Do Mexicans really eat chimichangas?". If so, prepare to have all of your questions answered. This is Mexican Food: Fact or Fiction!

Round 1: Street Food

Fiction #1 - Fast Food Tacos are Authentic
I will give you a thousand dollars if you can find a taco even partially similar to this one anywhere in Mexico. In fact, if you can find me some seasoned ground beef I'll give you twenty!



Fact #1 - Mexican Tacos Are Amazing
This is the real deal folks. Want to know what Mexicans put in their tacos? Look directly above this typing. Want to know what is on that plate? I have absolutely no idea. Want to know how delicious it is? Very.



Fiction #2 - Chunky Salsa is Mexican
And all this time you thought it was pronounced Pah-say! I'll bet Pace isn't even made in Mexico either! This fiction is actually wonderful for me; I hate salsa. There are sauces here to put on your tacos but they are nothing like what we are used to dipping our chips in back home.



Fact #2 - Mexican Salsas Totally Rock
These are the standard sauces that you will find at any restaurant here in Mexico. Kelly loves the pico de gallo and the lighter green sauce. I, on the other hand, love the orange sauce with a little bit of lime. A few drops are usually enough to make me sweat. But, let's be honest, I sweat ALL day here anyway.



Were we sick after eating all of those tacos? Yes. Have we done it again? Multiple times.




Fact #3 - Arab Tacos Rule
These are definitely my favorite. They use a practical joke sized knife (Do you see that thing?) to slice meat off of a giant spinning horn. I don't know what kind of seasoning they put on it but it is incredible. I would probably eat my own shoes if they were seasoned with the same stuff.



Fact #4 - Mexican Hamburgers Are At the Pinnacle of Burger-dom
There's this little place about 100 feet from our house called "The Magic Hamburger". We were warned after the fact not to eat there but we will definitely be going back. After all, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. These burgers were the best we have ever had. Period.



If you look closely you might be able to make out a few of the ingredients on Kelly's burger: avocado, pineapple, mushroom, bacon, sliced ham, Oaxacan cheese, string cheese, yellow cheese, grilled onion, tomato, mayo, and ketchup. Try ordering that at your local Wendy's! I dare you!


We couldn't even read through the description of a burger without laughing at the insane variety of cheeses listed on the menu. (Note: Perhaps you've noticed my stylish comb-over. It has come to be lovingly known here in Mexico as my "Dad Hair". This is not a daily occurrence. My hair was just getting very long and I couldn't do it normally. I promise.)



Fiction #3 - Your Stomach Can Handle It
No. It can't. Sooner or later everyone must recognize that they are no match for the mighty power of real Mexican food. Don't worry, though. It's totally worth it and it's supposed to only make you sick once. I just figured that if I seemed more humble then the great and powerful "Flamita" might take it a little easier on me.



See what I mean? No matter how many times you think "Maybe this isn't a good idea", you do it anyway.



Fiction #4 - Chalupas Are Attractive
I have to be honest. I cannot blame Taco Bell for giving the chalupa a facelift for their U.S. market. In real life the chalupa is a far cry from its golden brown American counterpart. If you think you can handle the truth, scroll down one picture.




"Waiter?"
"Yes?"
"I would like an order of chalupas please."
"Absolutely. Would you like me to chew the meat for you and spit it back onto your plate first as well?"
"Sure. But only if you promise to miss the tortillas and smear everything around on my plate too."
"It would be my pleasure."




Fact #5 - Mexican Food is Named Very Appropriately
Tostadas (pictured above) - actually made on toasted tortillas
Enchiladas - actually cooked with lots of chile
Gorditas - will definitely lead to you becoming a gordito/a yourself (gordo = fat)




No sooner would I attempt to describe the Mona Lisa or Beethoven's Fifth than to capture in words the majesty of this taco al pastor.



Fiction #5 - Gloves Are Necessary
To be honest, how clean are gloves anyway? Does the 17 year-old at McDonald's avoid touching nasty things any less because he is wearing them? If anything, gloves are a green light to touch anything you want. I say let's go the way of the Mexican market. No shirt. No gloves. No problem!



Fact #6 - Mexican Food is Cheap
For those of you wondering how we could possibly afford to live once back in Provo, have no fear! Mexican food is very easy on the wallet. For a plate of 5 tostadas we pay 9 Mexican dollars. That is about 80 cents! Take that Dollar Menu!


And, just in case you are wondering if Mexicans really do eat chimichangas, they don't. In fact, the word chimichanga doesn't even exist here.

Let Me Count The Ways

Every now and again, I get the chance to go "the extra mile" in showing Kelly that I truly love her. I present to you the ultimate display of my affection: close proximity to a clown.

When: May 30th, 2011
Where: Tehuacan Mall
What: Kelly sees what she describes as a cute clown woman wearing "fun bright colors". She mentions how fun it would be to go say "Hi". My palms start to sweat but I play it cool and suggest we go to a store immediately because the mall is about to close.
After a nice session of browsing, I am dismayed to see that she is still there and just as neon as ever. As we pass by the second time, Kelly drops it on me; "I would love to go take a picture with her!".
No!!!!!!! What am I supposed to say to that? "Sorry, we can't do that. I have an irrational fear of clowns." Yeah right!
Anyways, long story short, we approach said clown and I take a picture of Kelly with her. (Keep in mind here: Who gets to do ALL of the talking with the clown? Brian does!) After taking Kelly's picture, the clown decides that it's my turn and wraps me up in the most terrifying hug of my life. "I know he's yours" she says to Kelly "but I'll take care of him."
Aaaaahhhhhhh! Run for your life! Hide yo' kids! Hide yo' wife! And hide yo' husband cuz there's clowns everywhere up in here!
Following the wonderful photo you can see below, it was my tremendous privilege to explain to the clown why I did not want to buy a balloon flower or plastic princess tiara for my wife. "Why don't you buy one? Don't you love her?" My response: "I'm talking to you aren't I?"

"I don't know what Brian is talking about. She looks so nice and fun."



BAM! Not so "nice and fun" anymore now is she? What you don't see is the knife in her left hand!



I made this to help others truly understand the significance of this seemingly trivial event. When it comes down to it, it was way more than just a minute.


I also made this because the first one got me feeling all "graphy".